Ronna Bonifacio | I worry my life doesn’t look like an ad
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I worry my life doesn’t look like an ad

Yes, I sometimes (translation: often) fall into the trap of comparing my messy existence to advertisements I see on baby products or new condominiums of young, happy and physically perfect mothers with neat homes who are playing with their clean and healthy children. I see them washing their infant serenely and it hardly looks like her body went through pregnancy. But baby is obviously only a few weeks old. Or maybe she’s playing with her two kids ages eight and six, and she looks like she just turned 20 yesterday.

Maybe with my next baby, I can take a mommy photo like this, complete with ponytail toss. Fashion editorial from Vogue Russia. Photo from minniemelange.wordpress.com.

Maybe with my next baby, I can take a mommy photo like this, complete with ponytail toss. Fashion editorial from Vogue Russia. Photo from minniemelange.wordpress.com.

I don’t know why I allow myself to be fooled. I know how much hard work it takes to put a single photo together (like the one above) and how many professionals it takes, from the photographer, to the makeup artist, hairstylist, fashion stylist, model, to the set designer, yet I still sometimes feel pressure to be a perfect mother, wife, daughter, and friend. I worry my life doesn’t look picture perfect all the time.

Gisele Bundchen's controversial Instagram post. This reminds me that even the prettiest of us need help. And even they try to balance work and family, too. Photo from allure.com.

Gisele Bundchen’s controversial Instagram post. This reminds me that even the prettiest of us need help. And even they try to balance work and family, too. Photo from allure.com.

The truth is, it takes a lot of styling, art direction, editing before I can get my photos to look pleasing to the eye and the way that I want. I don’t think perfection is bad and evil, I just think it means that humans inherently look for beauty because we were made to worship and adore. I think that’s why our culture is celebrity-obsessed.

Oh to have flawless skin all over, serious hair volume, perfectly applied eyeshadow a cherubim-like baby, plus some nice ice on your finger! Photo from petiteconfection.typepad.com.

Oh to have flawless skin all over, serious hair volume, perfectly applied eyeshadow a cherubim-like baby, plus some nice ice on your finger! Photo from petiteconfection.typepad.com.

But once I aired my worries out loud (in other words, confessed it to my friend and husband), I realized how silly I sounded. No one is asking me to be perfect. How can they, if they aren’t perfect either? Even a perfect God doesn’t ask for perfection. It’s okay not to have it together all the time–not to have a perfectly done face with a perfectly clean home and perfectly behaving children 24/7. If it looks like someone has achieved this, it’s probably only in a split second. For that Instagram post. And with lots and lots and lots of help. And then all hell breaks loose again (and all the mothers say: Uh-huh!).

I’m never going to be perfect and my life will never be perfect. And that’s perfectly fine.

Photo from thefoxisblack.com.

Photo from thefoxisblack.com.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

— Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV
2 Comments
  • Luna
    Posted at 22:05h, 15 October

    Wow. Love this post of yours!

    • Ronna Capili Bonifacio
      Posted at 05:13h, 17 October

      Thank you, Luna!